Journal

new moon
september 17, 2001 ~ 9:23 p.m.

This whole thing is really weird. It feels like a dream or a movie I just watched. But it’s real.

I think it sort of proves that a missile defense system is pointless, because obviously it wouldn’t have done any good against our own planes. They’ll always find a way around any kind of protection we build for ourselves. We have to stop treating the symptoms and go for the problem itself. And I don’t mean go to war or anything like that. That would be useless and cause more terrorism. We need to figure out why they’re doing this and figure out how to stop that. Because any other solution won’t go for the heart of the problem.

What I want to know is how the fuck they got on a plane with knives. Apparently it’s legal under a certain size, but why the fuck is that? Obviously it’s still dangerous, if they could hijack a plane with it.

It’s really frightening, too, because I live in DC and even though I’m in Wisconsin right now, my family is there and practically everyone I know, and I’m there for part of the year. And it’s my home, it’s everything I know, and if something happened to it, like a nuclear bomb or something that wiped out everything, I would feel so fucking lost. The center of my world would be gone. And of course, if the fourth plane had crashed into the White House where it might have been heading, it would have been only a few blocks from my mother’s office, and also only a few blocks from the bookstore I worked at this summer. I’ve thought about this before, when there’s been bomb threats and things like that, but nothing’s ever actually happened. This time it’s so terrifyingly real.

And yeah, it’s nice being this far away from everything, being completely safe even if people I know aren’t, but it also kind of sucks not being there. Apparently everyone is freaking out completely, which is entirely understandable, and it would be interesting to be in the midst of that, to hear what everyone thinks, what everyone’s reaction is. And here there’s no newspaper and I never watch tv, so I don’t get much news at all, and it all feels even farther away than it already would. If I were at home I’m sure it would feel completely different.

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