Journal

three days after first quarter
july 1, 2001 ~ 1: 11 p.m.

Friday night me and Deviate went to the Black Cat and hung out in the bar for a while, which was fun. At one point, over the blaring music and everyone else talking, she said, "Just to make sure...you like girls, right?" And of course I said yes. And on the way there, as we were driving through Dupont Circle we saw two men walking down the street holding hands, and I smiled. I really haven't been down there enough lately, and I should, it's the queerest part of town. I used to go down there every once in a while with a few friends and get frappichinos at one of the two starbucks and browse the bookstore and sit in the circle watching all the gay men walk around.

Then yesterday my mom sat me down to talk, and she said "I've noticed you've become interested in gay rights lately...", and I thought, oh gods, has she not figured this out yet? She continued, saying "...And I thought maybe you were debating whether you might be..." And I said, "It's not in debate." But she was acting so uncomfortable that I didn't want to talk to her about it, so I told her that and went up to my room. But then she came up and talked to me again, saying that I was young, that I shouldn't cut myself off from half the population. I couldn't believe this. This was my pro-gay mother, saying this to me, as though I don't know how I feel, like I might just be "confused" which is what everyone seems to say to queer youth. And then she said something about how if women are shy around men and they don't know how to get with one they might find it easier to just stay away from that whole scene. I couldn't believe she was saying this. So I said, "Look, I know you think that. But that's not what it's about, okay?" So she backed down from that, and started talking about how I could always talk to her and dad about this and everything. Then we went out in the garden, planted some herbs, and talked about other things.

Then last night Deviate came over again and we hung out with my brother and his friends, drinking and smoking up and playing cards. I got in a heated argument with Justin over welfare. He claimed that welfare was bullshit and that welfare recipients are just lazy, and I argued that sure, there are some welfare cheats, but that there are many people who really need the money and have no other choice. "So get a job!" he said, and then we argued for a while about whether or not there are enough jobs for everyone. His main argument consisted of the fact that (as a literate white male from Chevy Chase with a GED) he could easily get many jobs, and therefore, it must be just as easy for everyone else (including illiterate uneducated minorities from Southeast, aparently). By the end he had agreed that there are situations where there's a mother with six kids and no childcare and that she can't just "get a job", but he still claimed that 90 percent of those on welfare don't need it.

previous ~ next

Diaryland